Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
