she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize