i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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