can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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