so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The power of my boobs compel you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
