And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
