he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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