you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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