apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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