I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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