If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize