Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize