No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
