My room smells like vodka and shame
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
