he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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