Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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