You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
