Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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