is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
