I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
