Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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