I'm drive I can fine osifer
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize