Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
