Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
