dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize