Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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