theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
