My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
