Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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