U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
