She is in my trunk
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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