Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize