Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
