he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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