just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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