I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
