i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
