i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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