so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
