is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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