So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize