Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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