why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
