I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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