My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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