My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
