he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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