i think i have two assholes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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