hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
