He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
