I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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