As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
