Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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