what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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