do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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