I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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