Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
ttyl tear gas
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
