i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
