Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
