his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
