Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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