Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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