When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
