You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm always down for nudity.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize