fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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