either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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