god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How does it feel to date your dad?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
