OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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